You are taking the right steps by relating your feelings. As I have become older and I hope and little wiser, I realize that to succeed in any relationship there must be communication. Well, to have a relationship with God, there must be communication. That communication can take place inside a church, while you are out walking or running or anywhere you wish for it too. I arise at 5 on school days and go to Wise to drive my bus. I arrive about 45 minutes before I must leave and start about 8 buses for other drivers and spend that time alone. When I get back into my truck, I have tapes to listen to, I read the Bible and meditate. That seems to work for me. What works for me, might not work for you, but you are going in the right direction.